Favorite Quotes From...

Samantha (Sex and The City)

Oh Samantha slutty pero siempre da en el clavo con sus comentarios, no tiene miedo de hablar.

Samantha: There's no such thing as bad publicity.
Carrie: Of course you'd say that, you're a publicist.

Samantha: One time I fucked a guy because he had a swimming pool. I came over and he used to bring me Kool-Aid.
Carrie: Kool-Aid?
Samantha: I was thirteen.

Samantha: You dated Mr. Big. I'm dating Mr. Too Big.

Samantha: Until he says "I love you", you're a free agent.
Carrie: What is this? The Rules According to Samantha?
Samantha: See? I'm more old-fashioned than you think.

Samantha: I'm dating a guy with the funkiest tasting spunk...
[Charlotte storms out of the coffee shop]

Samantha: There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.

Samantha: [to her male intern] The bad news is you're fired. The good news is now I can fuck you.

Samantha: [to Carrie about Big] Have fun, just don't have amnesia.

[after oral sex on some guy]
Samantha: Could you shave or something? Blowing you is like getting my teeth flossed.

Samantha: Look at his robe. So "Robin and his Merry Men."

Samantha: You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax. If you were in Aruba the natives could bead your back.

Samantha: I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes, when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.

Samantha: Anything else around here need milking?

Samantha: Last night I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to get dressed, go out and pick up a guy.

Samantha: Well, I don't know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It's exhausting.

Samantha: What am I supposed to say? "Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I'm done with dick"?

Samantha: You've got to get online, honey. If only for the porn.


Samantha: Where were you on your lunch break? I stopped by your office and you weren't there?
Richard: I was eating.
Samantha: Eating? Eating who?

Samantha: Can we cut the cake? I have to go to a Three-way.

Samantha: The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone.

Samantha: If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world. And at the same time have our hands free.

Samantha: You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'.

Samantha: You get married and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out you'll get divorced. You can take tap with Bojangles over here.

Samantha: [to the girls] I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

Samantha: My name's Samantha and I'm a loveaholic.

Samantha: [on the possibility that Carrie's boyfriend will propose to her] If you become one of those married assholes, I'll kill you.

Samantha: [somebody drew a crude drawing on Carrie's bus ad, so Samantha tries to comfort her] Nobody in New York notices a bus, unless it's about to hit them.

Charlotte: Oh my God! Vagina weights!
Samantha: Honey, my vagina waits for no man.

Samantha: Well, I'm done with great love. I'm back to great lovers.

Samantha: Starfucks!

Samantha: Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me!

Samantha: I was thirteen.

Samantha: Money is power. Sex is power. Therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.

Samantha on The Rules: The women who wrote that book—they wrote it because they couldn't get laid, so they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.

Samantha: Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called The Horse.

Samantha (about the Turtle): Once we get the breath under control, I'm going to take him shopping for a whole new wardrobe. He's a cute little fixer-upper!

Samantha, watching Lanie strip at a party: Look at her: the poster girl for low self esteem.

Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.

Samantha: Men aren't that complicated. They're kind of like plants.

Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha (crying): Oh, who the fuck cares? His dick is like a gherkin.

Samantha: Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can.

Samantha: I never leave underwear at a guy's place because I never see it again.
Charlotte: What happens to it?
Samantha: Nothing; I just never go back.
Carrie: Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?
Samantha: That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
Miranda: And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.

Samantha: Relationships have been on the decline ever since women came out of the cave, looked around and said, "this isn't so bad."

Samantha: Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we," and their version of "we" is "me"... and my dick!

Samantha: Look, we're as fucked up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind.

Samantha: Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.

Samantha: I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

Samantha: I find the higher the number the worse the sex. I went out with somebody the third who couldn't even get it up.
Miranda: Imagine how bad Henry VIII must have been.

Samantha: I once dated a guy who liked to wear my underwear but I've never gone the other way.

Carrie: He's a bisexual.
Samantha: I could've told you that, sweetie. He took you ice skating for god's sake!

Samantha: I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

Samantha: Adeena, I'm a lovely woman. At least get to know me, then hate me.
Samantha: Oh please, if you're a whore, what does that make me?

Samantha: They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein!
Samantha: From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

Samantha: Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."

Samantha: I'm starving! Where's the food?
Miranda: They're WASPs. There's never food, only booze.
Samantha: Fine. One martini, six olives.

Nurse: Do you swallow?
Samantha: Only when surprised.

Samantha on kilts: I like the idea of men in skirts. Easy access.

Samantha: Honey, before you buy the car you take it for a test drive!

Samantha: Low fat Kool Whip is the best. It's less sticky than other brands.
Samantha: That's the thing about the Brazilian. It makes you do crazy things. You have to be very careful who you invite to Brazil.

Carrie: So are you saying there's no way you'd go out with a guy who lived with his family?
Samantha: Well... maybe Prince William.

Samantha, on Charlotte: That girl needs the stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie, pronto!

Samantha: Oh please, you can't change that about a man. It's part of their genetic code. Like farting.

Samantha: The only place you can control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blow jobs we could run the world!

Samantha: I've never been able to be friends with any man. Why would I? Women are for friendships, men are for fucking.
Samantha: Honey, you have got to learn to form an opinion.

Samantha: Okay, you want details? Okay. He's got the most perfect dick I've ever seen. Long, pink, amazing. It's dickalicious!

Samantha: I'll tell you how to babyproof. Use a condom

Samantha: I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever—and blow whomever—I want as long as I can breathe and kneel!

Samantha: I tell you, it is so refreshing to be with someone who likes to fuck outside the box.

Samantha: Your parents named you Jerry Jerrod? No wonder you drank.

Samantha: Now, maybe in the Dominican Republic, people like to share vibrators, but this is America—land of plenty!

Samantha: We're not going to encourage you to cross an ocean. We're selfish bitches who like you in New York!

Samantha: This funeral is better than fashion week!

I'm Outty :)